Two months since I last wrote. Could it be that nothing exciting happened? Could it be that too much excitement was happening? Could it be that there were just not words for what I wanted to write? Perhaps a little of it all.
Nothing exciting happened could be the case when you consider that we have maintained a somewhat ‘stay home’ policy, no huge adventures were taken, and no crazy stories to tell but this is just a mindset. I looked up the word excitement. (Excitement is defined as a feeling of enthusiasm, eagerness or exhilaration, or is defined as something that causes such a feeling. ... Christmas morning, which inspires exhilaration, is an example of an excitement.) After reading this definition I can say that there was excitement the last two months.
Mother’s day was spent at home with the boys and they each had sweet things to say in their cards. Rick made dinner so that was definitely exciting.
The boys have continued to have plenty of play time with the kids on our street and the little U the we live on has become their ‘city’ and since we have moved in, cars are slower knowing there is always kids running about playing kickball, playing street hide and seek, swimming, riding bikes, playing capture the cone, or just chilling in the shade with a popsicle. I love that there are other kids around to play with and keep the excitement going during these times when other activities are canceled.
The boys both finished up school after 10 weeks of remote learning. I am so proud of how hard they both worked to continue their learning. I was blessed to be able to watch them as students and it gave me a broader understanding of them as a whole being. I loved helping them learn and keep up with their studies but there is no doubt I am ready to hand them off to their schools come the fall. As of now, Max will return full time and Roman will be on a rotation schedule, most likely attending two times a week until the schools slowly get back to 100%. Roman received an Honor award for his hard work during this time and he was presented with a certificate at a drive by at his school. Both boys were also able to say good bye to their teachers and give them gifts. Speaking of school, I wouldn’t even be free next year because….I GOT A JOB! See, something else exciting happened:) I have been hired full time as a first grade teacher at a nearby school. I am so excited to go back into the classroom even though I know this will be another year where we take it day by day.
Rick and Max have been doing some golfing. Max has really enjoyed it and to no surprise, he is really good. Rick got him some starter clubs and finding a time to go when the heat is not terrible is the only difficult thing. They also had the opportunity to go fishing with some friends. They had fun despite not catching any fish. I have had a few nights hanging out with some neighbor friends and getting to know more people in the neighborhood. The Blue Angels did a fly over in Houston so that was exciting for us all to see them for the first time.
We did have a scare this past month with Mango. She once again got really sick. This is the 3rd time in 3 years where we thought it was over for her. A trip to the vet and many tears later, she decided she wasn’t done. She bounced back and has been happy ever since. Knowing she is 14 has been hard when thinking through decisions. She is a family member and the boys know nothing other than having her in the house. But for now, we will enjoy her for as long as we have her.
We did take one adventure away from the house and went to the Beach. We enjoyed it with friends, caught crabs, walked on the beach, played in the sand, rode an 8 man bicycle, and ate out at Bubba Shrimp Company. This was our first meal in a restaurant since February. That was exciting. That same week we also witnessed the space shuttle which was such a cool thing to see history being made. Bob and Doug had the right idea for leaving this planet for the year 2020. I wish them all the luck!
Now…this is the part where I don’t really have the words. I have so much I want to say. I have so many thoughts running through my head. I have so many questions that are unanswered. I have so many convictions about what is happening in our world right now but I struggle to write them. Why even write them at all? Writing is my therapy. Writing is my way of recording the past. Writing is a way for me to reflect. Writing is a way for me to look back and see just how I was feeling in the moment. I want to look back on this journal and remember exactly what I was thinking, feeling, and just how I perceived what was going on. This year, 2020, will be in history books one day and I want to remember walking though this year. So, with all that being said, I am going to write some thoughts I have knowing that I will probably make someone mad, make someone cry, make someone question who I am, and make someone marvel that I speak my thoughts.
We live in a world where ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. We are all quick to judge, quick to be offended, quick to make uninformed decisions, and quick to come to conclusions. I am guilty of all of these.
On the matter of this awful virus that is going around, it is unsettling. It is brand new and we don’t know much about it. There are so many opinions and it is just one more thing to divide us as a people. To be honest, we are slightly divided on this topic in my own household. I want to be safe and healthy. I want my family to be safe and healthy. At what cost do we continue to pay for this safe and healthy? Bottom line, for me, follow my heart and gut. That’s not really a clear answer but every decision I make that involves this? Yes, if the building is open they will be going even if the option of remote learning is offered. My boys need the social interaction and other adult figures in their life to keep them growing. Mental and emotional needs are just as important as physical. This is my situation, my family, and the best decision for us. Follow your heart and gut and do what is best for you and your family. I assess the reward and risk and decide which one is greater.
Now let’s talk injustice. WOW! 2020 and this is still a conversation. My heart aches for those who have had to endure injustices. I have lived a pretty easy life compared to so many so I really don’t know what it is like, however, I can still have empathy. The way we show that empathy will look different. There are so many opinions out there as to what we should all be doing. I will listen but I do NOT have to abide by your opinion. We need to all be listening but why must we argue and bully those that don’t do it our way. Social media is a breeding ground for this. So many are screaming and hollering because they are hidden behind a screen. Bottom line for me on this issue…treat others the way you would like to be treated. For me, it’s that simple. I want my kids to know that no matter what someone looks like, it is the character of that person we should see. Stand up for what is right, but in a way that is peaceful, loving, just, and just plain kind. BE KIND! You don’t like my stance on things, it’s ok, you can still be kind. Hate, anger, and violence will never be allowed in my house. It is not the answer and will not bring about change (in my opinion). The biggest question is who matters? YOU MATTER!
This year is not over and I am sure we are all on our toes and peaking around the corner waiting to see what gets thrown at us next. All I can do is, pray hard, educate myself and not just listen to the noise which is all around me, think for myself and not be naive, be kind, teach my children to be kind, and do to others as I would have them do to me.